Two tips for advocacy as a support person

I recently shared six tips for advocating for yourself in a medical setting. But what if you’re supporting someone who’s advocating for themselves in a medical setting?

In this situation, I often focus on amplifying that person’s voice. Sometimes, medical care providers are more likely to listen to me than to my client (awful and true); I ask myself, how can I use that to my client’s advantage? Or, if you’re in that situation, how can you use that to your loved one’s advantage?

1. Always remind them they can take time. In true medical emergencies, providers will do what they need to do for someone’s safety, but in the VAST majority of cases, a few minutes between a suggestion and a decision does not make a difference. If a provider suggests something to your loved one, you can ask them, “Do you want a few minutes to think about that?”

2. If you notice something is about to happen without the person’s consent or against their desires, ask them really loudly, “Did you have any questions for Dr. X about Y?” I use this exactly phrasing for a specific reason: it works in good times and in bad. Sometimes a provider will go against informed refusal because of an unfolding emergent situation. In most of these cases, the provider is within their medical rights to ignore a patient’s request; but, even if that’s the case, they can still explain to the patient what’s going on and why. You and I, as the support people, might be thinking, “You can’t do that; the patient refused it!!”, but saying that in an emergent situation is not helpful and can just raise tensions. The phrasing I use, “Did you have any questions for Dr. X about Y,” allows room for the provider to be in the right in ignoring consent or not, while reorienting the room toward the patient and their voice.

Do you have other go-to strategies or phrases you want loved ones to know? Share them in the comments!